The Archer
by RixxiSpooks
Summary: This is an amazing story cough cough : What happens when two of the biggest egos, from two of the best BBC tv shows clash in 1192? Robin Hood and Doctor Who crossover!
1. Rescue

_Ok, this is a really random and probably really bad crossover but I just felt like doing it! Some of you may have seen Black Adder go back to the time of Robin Hood and he was a puff in tights but here we have the cross of two off the best Saturday night shows ever: Doctor WHo and Robin Hood BBC 2006 version! With the gorgeous Jonas!_

* * *

"So, 1507 or 1967?"

"Considering I know nothing that happened in either of those dates, I don't really care."

"Right, I'll choose 1507 it sounds interesting," the Doctor started flicking switches and pressing buttons on the TARDIS control panel, "And one button here, that should do it." The TARDIS shook violently so both the Doctor and Rose were flung off their feet and onto the floor.

"Ok, that worked...well," Rose said sarcastically, "Where are we now?"

"Um...how bout we look outside," the Doctor shrugged and stood up. Then he held out a hand to pull Rose up and she took it. They headed to the TARDIS door and the Doctor reached for the handle, "Ready? Cos I haven't a clue what's out there."

"Open the door, Doctor," Rose grabbed the handle and stepped out into bright sunshine. "Jeez, it's kinda light out here."

Once their eyes adjusted to the glare they saw a village around them, it looked Medieval. People were milling around working and children were playing. A woman looked up from her washing and spotted the oddly dressed couple outside a blue box and immediately drew a conclusion.

"WITCH!" she yelled, pointing to Rose and heading towards them. Other villagers saw them and charged over brandishing forks and spades.

"Did she just call me a bitch?" Rose asked indignantly.

"No, I think you'll find she called you a witch," the Doctor replied.

"Oh, that's just too far!" Rose looked furious and she was about to head over to the advancing villagers to face them off when the Doctor grabbed her arm.

"You do realise that they are armed, angry and think your a witch?" the Doctor remarked.

"Ah, kinda forgot that," Rose started backing off.

"I think now is the time to run!" the Doctor yelled.

"Eek!" The companions sprinted past some houses and headed for the nearby wood, hoping to escape the villagers. But unfortunately Rose tripped over a chicken on her way and was sent sprawling to the ground. "Ow." The screeching people gained on her easily, weapons thrust at her. "Whoa!" Rose held her hands up in surrender.

"Witch, witch, witch," they chanted.

"Burn her at the stake!" someone yelled.

"Oi," Rose scowled, "I don't fancy being your Sunday roast thanks!"

"Get the man as well! He is probably the hag's accomplice!"

"Who you calling hag?!" Rose demanded.

"And I'm so not her accomplice," the Doctor added as they dragged him over, hands behind his back.

"Oh great, I was counting on you to coming to my rescue but I guess that idea's down the toilet," Rose groaned as the Doctor shot her a cheesy smile.

"Sorry, I'm a bit tied up here," he gestured to his bound hands.

"O, ha ha," Rose replied as she was hauled away towards a rather ominous looking wood pile, "Do you think they always have this set up just in case?" The villagers pulled her to the top of the pile and tied her to a post at the top.

"That's not good," the Doctor muttered.

"Doctor, help!" Rose shouted frantically at him.

"I would," the Doctor pulled against his binds, "But I'm stuck!" Rose gave him a terrified look as a man brought a flaming stick towards the bottom branches. "Damn, damn, damn!" The Doctor didn't know what to do now, they needed a miracle.

"Hey, what are you doing with that poor lady!" a loud, cocky voice called. The Doctor whipped around to see a brown-haired man ride up on a bay horse. He was followed by five more horses and riders. In his hands he held a curved bow and an arrow taut in it. The man leapt off his horse and hurried to the wood pile.

"This is none of your business," one of the women shouted at him, "She is a witch!"

"You cannot go around burning random women just because they look different. Especially if they are this pretty," the man replied climbing up to Rose. The Doctor frowned, slightly envious that he was saving Rose but happy all the same that she wasn't going to die.

Rose looked rather smitten by her handsome saviour as he freed her. She held his hand as they made their way to the ground.

"He's at it again," one of the men who was accompanying Rose's rescuer sighed. The Doctor looked amused. He wanted to find out exactly who this man was.

"You are not allowed to take a witch from us, scoundrel," a woman shouted, "She will curse us all!"

"There is no such thing as witchcraft!" the man looked exasperated, "Mildred, I have told you this so many times before."

"There is! Look at her clothing! That is not normal! It's bright pink!"

"What have you got against pink?" Rose protested looking down at her Minnie Mouse t-shirt.

"And there is a picture on it! A mouse in clothes! It is one of the people she has turned into a mouse!" a man cried.

"Jeez," Rose groaned, why couldn't she have worn the plain blue one today?

"Also, her and her assistant came in that strange blue box over there. It is unatural and probably contains all her potions," an old woman yelled.

"I think that's our cue to leave. You do have rather a lot against you don't you?" the man whispered, his breath tickling Rose's ear, "Can we leave the blue box?"

"Er..." Rose looked at the Doctor who seemed aghast at the idea of losing his precious TARDIS, "I guess so, but I'll only come with you if you free my friend, the Doctor."

"Who? Him?" the rescuer jerked a thumb in the Time Lord's direction.

"Yup," Rose nodded.

"Alright." The men who had come with Rose's saviour grabbed the Doctor away from his captures without untying his wrists and threw him very undignifiedly over a horse's back.

"Ow," moaned the winded Doctor, "This is doing nothing for my pride!"

"Let's go!" the man swung Rose up onto his own horse and sat behind her.

"So who exactly are you then?" Rose asked as the wind whipped her face and they left the disgruntled villagers behind.

"Why, surely you know who I am?"

"Um...no sorry, your name must of slipped my mind," Rose lied, hoping that if she found out who this stranger was then she might find out what time it was.

"I'm Robin Hood!"


	2. Intros

"Seriously?! Robin Hood? As in the guy who nicks from the rich and gives to the poor? Arch enemy of the Sheriff of Nottingham? In love with Maid Marian?"

"How'd you know that?" the man sitting behind her jumped, startled, "It's not true!" He fixed her with a fierce gaze.

"Ok, ok, keep your hair on!" Rose grinned at the man.

"So, what's your relationship with the Doctor?" Robin asked, curiously, "Lover?"

"What?!" it was Rose's turn to be surprised, "No, he's just my…um…er…the person I travel with…a friend."

"Last time I checked a male _friend _usually means lover," Robin raised an eyebrow.

"Huh, what century are you from, mate?" Rose started and then realised, "Wait, don't answer that."

"You are not together then?"

"Well yes…I mean no…um…well….sort of….not. I'm single." Rose gabbled.

"Really?" Robin smiled mischievously, "May I ask what the lovely lady's name is?"

"Who? Me?" Rose asked, innocently, "Rose."

"A beautiful flower for a beautiful woman."

"Master, that's too cheesy," a young man rode up beside Robin shaking his head.

"Much, did I ask for your opinion?"

"No, but I'm giving it anyway," Much retorted, grinning, then he turned to Rose, "Nice to meet you Lady Rose."

"Er…I'm no lady," Rose sniggered.

"She's right. She's about as far from ladyish as you can get. I reckon she's bordering on male," the Doctor piped up from his uncomfortable position.

"Oi, do you want a slap?" Rose warned.

"No thanks," the Doctor cracked a crooked grin at her.

"You can dismount now," Robin interrupted, "We have arrived at camp." Rose slithered off the horse's back and looked around. The camp was little more than a clump of charred sticks that must once have been a fire set in the centre surrounded by a few blankets and baskets of supplies.

"Nice place," the Doctor remarked as a dark haired man untied his bonds. The rope fell apart and he rubbed his raw wrists, "Thanks…er…"

"Will Scarlett," the man replied quietly.

"Thanks then, Will!" the Time Lord thumped him heartily on the back, "May I be introduced to the rest of you? I'm the Doctor by the way and the blonde is Rose."

"Hello, Doctor, are you an actual doctor of medicine then? Because Djaq here knows a far bit about medical stuff," Robin spoke up and gestured to a brown skinned boy.

"Erm, sort of, I probably know slightly more about medical _stuff _than you guys do. For instance did you know germs cause disease?"

"Germs?" the boy asked abruptly, "What are germs?" His eyes lit up with interest.

"Whoops, I think I may have just ruined Louis Pasteur's glory," the Doctor winced.

"You muppet," Rose groaned, "You're always telling me not to change history and then you just change it without thinking."

"Technically Djaq only knows the name, he doesn't know what it is," the Doctor protested.

"Well then, let's keep it that way."

"Oh no," Djaq looked crest fallen, "Please tell!"

"No, so I know that's Djaq, your Robin, Much, Will and who's the rest of this bunch of _outlaws_!" the Doctor queried.

"Well that's John," Robin pointed at a massive giant of a man with a wild, curly grey beard, "And this is Allan." The young man with spike hair nodded in agreement.

"Hello then Allan and John," the Doctor smiled.

"Can I just ask, what's with the weird clothes? And that blue box you had?" Allan queried.

"Er…well…our clothes are from abroad," the Doctor said lamely, "But we wouldn't mind if you could supply us with something more suitable for here if that's ok. The blue box…" he trailed off not knowing how to explain, "It's also foreign and called the TARDIS." The outlaws didn't seem that convinced but didn't pursue the matter.

"So, who fancies some cheese?" Much broke the silence.

"Oh, shut up cheese boy," Allan hit Much over the head with his water pouch.

"Ouch!"

"Allan, leave Much alone," Robin scolded, "That can't be doing much for his self esteem."

"Well, why don't we cook something like meat? We're all starving and we could use the heat from the fire," Allan announced, "Meanwhile John and Djaq can go on watch. Will find some clothes for our guests. You don't mind men's clothes do you Rose?"

"Not at all, it'll be easier if we're staying in the forest," Rose said.

"Hey, hey, wait a minute! Who put you in charge? I give the orders," Robin interrupted, then paused, "Do what he said."

* * *

After they had got oraganised the outlaws and the time travellers gathered round the fire. Rose was dressed in one of Djaq's outfits as they were about the same size. The Doctor was in one of Robin's spared as they had the same stature.

"So, where are you two from?" Robin asked.

"Um...we travel," Rose said.

"Yes, but where were you born orginally?" he persisted.

"Er..."

"Down south," the Doctor interrupted, "London."

"Whoa! You lived in London?!" Allan gaped, "What's it like?"

"Busy, smelly...not that amazing," Rose shrugged, hoping they would try and delve even further into her background.

"Ok, and what the hell is this?" Allan suddenly held a metal object in his hand, "Is it a knife?"

"Hey, that's mine!" the Doctor shouted, seeing his sonic screwdriver.

"What the hell?" Allan flicked a button and screeched as the blue tip of the tool lit up, "Blue fire!"

"Witchcraft!"

**What do you think? Is it a load of crap? Please review and tell me!**


	3. Legends and Minstrels

**Yoddle, how are you guys?! Please keep reviewing! Hope you enjoy this!**

"What in god's name is that?!" Robin yelped as all the outlaws scrambled away from the silver stick that was emitting a strange, eerie blue glow.

"Er…that is my sonic screwdriver," the Doctor said, he decided he might as well tell them everything considering that they were gonna get suspicious sooner or later.

"A zonic what?" Allan yelled.

"A _sonic _screwdriver, it's a tool," the Doctor sighed. Will stepped towards the object cautiously.

"What does it do?" the curious young man asked, his face a picture of delight at such a weird new toy for him to dismantle. He reached down and gingerly picked the sonic screwdriver up.

"Careful, Will, it is a blue flame, it'll burn you," Much warned.

"Um, it undoes locks," the Doctor said, truthfully. The dark haired outlaws eyes lit up.

"Think what we could do with this Robin! No amount of money would be safe from us!"

"It would be good," Robin nodded.

"Hey, you are not keeping my sonic screwdriver to do your dirty work. Make your own," the Doctor made a lunge for the thing in question but Will whipped it out of his reach, still inspecting it closely.

"What is this material? Over the end?" he tapped the glass covering the blue bulb.

"That…that is…" the Doctor's usually quick mind failed to come up with anything.

"Magic!" John bellowed, "Its her magic wand! She'll curse us all!"

"No," Will said, calmly, not even looking up, "I'm sure its just some new invention. If I open it up…ah ha!" Will had levered the back of the sonic screwdriver up and his jaw dropped as he saw the impossibly complicated mechanism inside.

"Jesus!" he breathed then looked directly at the wincing Time Lord.

"_Who _are you? And what is _this_?!" he questioned.

"Right, well, we better tell the truth I guess. That thing works on electricity by the way."

"Electro…huh?" Much interrupted.

"Sit down you lot, we have some explaining to do. Don't interrupt us until we've finished and you must believe what we tell you is the truth," the Doctor gestured to the logs that the outlaws had deserted when the sonic screwdriver was discovered. They all slumped down looking expectantly at their guests.

"Ok, do you wanna tell them or shall I?" Rose asked.

"Er…how bout I start with the fact that we are both time travellers," the Doctor said.

"You what?"

"We travel in time, we are from the future." All the outlaws gaped.

"I don't believe you," Allan stated.

"Well you should. How do you explain the blue light, the electricity and my TARDIS, that's my timeship by the way?"

"Erm…"

"Rose, here, is from 2007," the Doctor continued, "That might explain her strange attire."

"And this guy here is a 900 year old alien," Rose grinned. The people sitting around her stared, gob smacked.

"Yeah," the Doctor glanced around, seeing the reaction.

"Well, that does explain a lot," Robin nodded, seeming to take it all in his stride, "Does anyone know who I am in the future then?"

"Yes, that's why I knew about you. Everyone knows who you are. There are legends, stories, films and all sorts about you. I even think there is an airport named after you. You've done a lot of good," Rose grinned.

"Wow, hear that guys, I'm a legend!" Robin smirked, gleefully.

"Oh, thanks Rose, now you've made his head even bigger, I think it might even explode!" Much groaned.

"Hey, you lot are famous too!" Rose added, "Except there are many variations on who was in the band of 'merry men'."

"Merry men?!" Allan said, eyebrows raised, "Do we look that merry?"

"It's just a nickname," the blonde haired girl shrugged.

"Did you know I was in it?" Much queried, curiously.

"Er…well all of them included Little John and Will Scarlett. In some Will is even Robin's brother!"

"His brother? Well that's a new one!" Will grinned, looking at Robin.

"But what about me?" Much persisted.

"You are in some of them. You are usually quite young, er, and the Miller's son," Rose thought carefully, selecting the facts.

"Yes, my father was a Miller!" Much smiled happily, satisfied.

"What about us?" Allan gestured to himself and Djaq. Rose racked her brains, wondering how much affect her telling all these outlaws how they would be remembered would have on the future.

"Djaq, there is often mention of a Saracen companion of Robin but no specifics and Allan, you are pictured as a minstrel."

"What?! A bloody minstrel!" Allan 'a' Dale looked furious.

**What do you think? I know its short but i...um...haven't got an excuse! Please review and have a cookie!**


	4. Magical Instrument

**Next chappie for you lot of Doctor Who and Robin Hood fans! can't wait till tonight! whoop! enjoy! none of the gang in this chapter! sorry!**

The Sheriff was bored. He had nothing to do. No one was breaking any laws and he hadn't had a good hanging in ages. Hood didn't seem to be popping up anywhere to ruin his plans but he guessed that was because he had no plans. Nottinghamshire was a calm and peaceful place. How on earth could he change that?

Maybe he should go for a ride, rile up the villagers and hopefully wind one up enough to get him arrested. Yes, that would be fun.

"Gisborne!"

"Yes, my Lord," Gisborne strode into his room, black boots thumping on the wooden floorboards.

"Get someone to saddle my horse. We are going to Locksley."

"May I ask why, my Lord?" Gisborne looked disgruntled.

"No, you may not. Now, go!" the Sheriff shooed him out of the door much to the man's obvious displeasure.

* * *

As the two trotted into the village, flanked by eight guards, they scattered the inhabitants from their daily business.

"Out of the way, out of the way. Sheriff coming through," Vaizey shouted, dispersing the villagers, "Hello, dear, how's the chickens?" he spoke to a doddery old woman who smiled at him.

"Oh, they're fine, my Lord. Nice of you to ask," she said, proud that he had remembered she kept chickens.

"Wow," the Sheriff whispered out of the side of his mouth to Gisborne, "Lucky guess."

"Yes, my Lord."

* * *

Riding further into the centre of the houses, the Sheriff began to bore again. He resorted to flicking his surrounding guards with bits of material from his cloak.

"Ah, hit," he smirked as one of the guards; he had hit on the ear, glared sourly at him. Vaizey gave him a little wave.

He looked back ahead and frowned as he something caught his eye. Now, that was new.

"Gisborne, why is there a blue box in the middle of Locksley village?" he questioned, one eyebrow arched.

"I don't know, my Lord," Gisborne too had noticed the odd structure.

"Hey, you," the Sheriff snapped at a passing woman. She stopped abruptly and looked at him, terrified. "What is that?" He gestured to the box and her eyes widened in fear.

"Er…" she said.

"What is it? Spit it out!"

"My Lord, no one knows quite what it is but it is magical," the woman whispered.

"Magical, eh?"

"Yes, sir. It belongs to a girl and a strange man. They both wear weird clothes."

"And where are they now?" the Sheriff inquired, curious.

"With Robin Hood," the woman replied, tentatively.

"Hood! I should've known!" Gisborne butted in.

"Quiet," the Sheriff silenced him.

"I would leave them be. They are both extraordinarily powerful. One of them dropped a magical instrument. It creates light with no fuel and makes awful buzzing noises. There are even voices in it!"

"Where is this instrument?" the Sheriff asked.

"Um…Richard Horn has it," the woman answered, hoping to escape now.

"Where does he live?"

"In that house," she pointed to a nearby stone cottage.

"Thank you my dear woman," the Sheriff nodded. Life seemed to be getting a little bit more interesting.

* * *

"Would you look at this, Gisborne?" the Sheriff cheered, gleefully. Flicking the silver object open and closed making it sing a tinkling tune. "It's amazing." He clicked several buttons on the pad and giggled like a child as the tool beeped and declared there to be 'No one with that number on record.' Guy of Gisborne looked less than impressed with Vaizey's new toy.

"My Lord, don't we have more pressing matters on our hands, such as how to get hold of the man and girl who own that." The Sheriff ignored him as usual and scrolled down a list of what seemed to be names: Andy, Carl, Chippy, Doctor, Keisha, Len, Mick, Mum, Viv and Zoe. He selected a random one and clicked on it. He was getting the hang of this thing.

* * *

_Bring. Bring. Bring. _Jackie groaned and pulled herself off the sofa and went to pick up her phone. The display read, Rose. What could be wrong?

"Hello, Rose-love what's wrong?"

"What the hell?!" a voice that sounded quite distant yelped on the end of the phone, "There's a person trapped in this thing!"

"Hello? Rose?" Jackie's brow furrowed as she heard scuffling at the end of the phone.

"What are you doing in there?"

"Doing in where?" Jackie retorted, thoroughly confused.

"I am the Sheriff of Nottingham so tell me what you are doing in this silver instrument!" the voice demanded.

"I am Jackie _of London_ and what the hell are you doing with my Rose's phone?" Jackie shouted.

"She's from London!" she heard the voice whisper none too subtly at the other end to someone else.

"Turn it of, my Lord!" another, husky voice said, "We need to find Hood and those people." Hood? Jackie thought for a moment. Surely he couldn't mean _Robin _bloody Hood?!

"Fine." With that the phone went dead.

* * *

"Ok, put up rewards for whoever can find those two people. I want to know how they trapped someone in this…phone, was that what she called it?" the Sheriff pondered, "It is a _very _special weapon and they must be missing it. I believe the girl's name is Rose."

"Of course, my Lord," Gisborne sighed heavily and left the room.

"Hmm," the Sheriff tapped the tips of his fingers together, deep in thought, "Just think what I could do with that kind of power!"

**Hehe! Now isnt Robin gonna be annoyed when the Sheriff pays more attention to the Doctor and not him! please review!**


	5. Little Snake

_Heya guys! not a very good chapter i'm ashamed to say! a bit short and nothing really happens but still read and review please! i promise i will defiantely use the idea u came up with Ladybug Jess in a later chapter it just didnt fit! anyhoo read the chappie now!_

"Yee ha!" the Doctor brandished his sword.

"Doctor, cowboys don't have swords," Rose sighed as she watched the Time Lord get in some sword practice.

"Oh, yeah, right," the Doctor grinned crookedly and turned back to his opponent who was Will. The young, dark haired outlaw brought his axes forward and watched the Doctor intently to see what his first move would be. The time travelling alien on the other hand was taking the situation very light heartedly. "Did you know that I battled a Sycorax leader on top of a spaceship over London with a sword?" Will looked confused for a moment, his brow furrowed and in that moment the Doctor lunged forward and knocked his weapons to the floor. "Ah ha! First rule of sword fighting, never get distracted by crazy, hyper aliens!" He smirked. Will shrugged, seemingly unaffected and sat on a log by the fire.

"Anyone else wanna take me on?" the Doctor grinned, searching the camp of outlaws.

"Yeah, I will," Robin stood up, grabbing his own curved Saracen sword.

"Oh, wow, that's a pretty sword! Can I have it?" the Doctor's eyes lit up with childish glee. Robin faltered in his steps and frowned. "Ha, you fell for it too! It's my gob, the most effective weapon in the universe!" Rose shook her head at the Doctor's words.

"And one day it is so gonna get you killed," she muttered.

"Too right, Rose, but then I'll regenerate and I'll probably have an even bigger one!"

"I don't think that's even possible."

"Nothing's impossible for me!"

"What's regenerate?" Much asked with mild interest.

"It means…" the Doctor grunted as Robin sliced forward with his sword, dodging it quickly and swinging back with a hit of his own, "…That I can…change bodies….when I die…its like….cheating….death!" With a well timed jab, Robin brought the Doctor down to his knees. Much meanwhile gaped at him.

"Surrender or I'll chop your head off," Robin said in a calm voice.

"Master, it won't make any difference, the Doctor can just come back to life!" the man servant butted in.

"Hey, is this how you treat all your visitors?"

"No, just the annoying ones," Robin grinned, removing his sword from the Doctor's throat.

"Oi, did you…did you just call me annoying? Did he just call me annoying, Rose?" the Time Lord looked indignantly at his companion.

"Yes, he did, and with good reason."

"ROBIN!" a voice interrupted their banter. Everyone's heads snapped up and spotted Allan and Djaq running over the brow of a hill, "The Sheriff's sent out a reward for whoever captures the 'man with the blue box' but he has to be alive. There are villagers coming into the forest right this minute!"

"Typical, just forget about me, he only wants 'the man'" Rose scowled.

"How much is the reward?" Robin asked, curiously.

"Master, I hardly think this is the time to ask about that!" Much yelped, scurrying around the camp picking up things.

"Well?" Robin looked pointedly at Allan.

"Er…one hundred silver pieces," the man replied. Robin looked outraged.

"One hundred pieces! Huh, the cheek, for me he only offered fifty!" Robin shouted, before turning to the Doctor, "You're stealing my thunder!"

"Your thunder?" the Doctor raised an eyebrow, "It's sunny!"

"No I mean…" Robin suddenly realised the Time Lord was taking the mick and glared at him.

"Ok, enough of the testosterone tantrums, we need to get out of here! Rose yelled.

"What's testosterone?" Much queried as the outlaws mounted their horses.

"Its…oh forget it!"

* * *

"Enjoying yourself, my Lord?" Gisborne asked as the Sheriff chuckled randomly to himself, still gazing intently at the phone. It was as if he was in love with the damn thing.

"Yes, thank you, Gisborne. Any luck with the man and Rose?"

"No, but we have found out his name," Gisborne announced, hoping to arouse the Sheriff's attention.

"Which is?" Vaizey didn't bother looking up at his Man at Arms, too entertained by the little snake weaving its way across the screen growing in size.

"The Doctor. One of the villagers told us," Guy sighed.

"The Doctor? What a strange name, almost a title. Ooh, maybe he's a Lord, a Lord with special weapons. Yes, because that is how he made this, he's a weapons maker, a chemist maybe. Excellent!" The Sheriff finally looked up from the phone as the snake sadly died to find Gisborne loitering in the doorway, "Well what are you doing just standing there? I want the search upped even higher. Send all your men into the forest and in the mean time try and crack open that blue box. I want to see what's inside."

"Yes, sir."

* * *

"Fantastic!" the Doctor grinned and leapt off the horse he was riding on, staring at the castle before him, "Nottingham!"

"Yeah, so what?" Allan asked.

"It's bloody Nottingham," Rose gaped, "Oh my god it looks nothing like the Disney film."

"If it did I'd be worried," the Doctor said, "That would mean this guy would have to be a fox." The Doctor put an arm round Robin and tugged him closer in a friendly way.

"Er…would you mind letting go. I really don't appreciate being squashed," Robin grunted.

"Oh sorry," the Doctor smiled, a wide, lop sided smile, "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go in and meet the guy that wants to catch _me_ so much!"

_Whoop! i am now gonna start writing my Doctor Who Taken story! read it please! ooh and review this one!_


	6. Freeze

**Jeezum...I havent updated this story in ages! Sooo sorry guys! I'm very happy that so many people like this idea! I had a lot of fun writin the Sheriff in this chapter! Lol! Please review!**

The small group hovered at the gate of the castle, watching carefully and assessing the amount of guards protecting it. Each one of them had hoods covering their faces in shadows and shielding them from view.

"So, Robin of the Hood, how the hell are we gonna get in there?" Rose asked, jabbing a finger at the heavily guarded port cullis.

"Erm…" Robin paused, looking perplexed, "Um…Allan, any ideas?"

"Nope, sorry mate," Allan shrugged.

"Well that's just great," Robin groaned, "Anyone else….hey!" The young outlaw had just noticed the Doctor striding purposefully towards the gates, hood off and head held high, "What are you doing?!"

"Walking, what's it look like?" the Doctor called back over his shoulder before passing the guards who didn't bat an eyelid.

"Huh?"

"They don't know who I am; I may be on the run and worth more money than you but, luckily for us, photographs haven't been invented so none of them know what we look like!" the Doctor bellowed.

"Ok, is it just me or did he just shout that for the whole world to hear?" Will muttered.

"That's what I was thinking," Rose frowned, "Are the guards just extremely stupid or what?"

"They're stupid, let's go," Allan headed after the tall figure of the Time Lord that was fast disappearing in the busy crowds.

"Hey, wait, we need to leave some people out here as back up and stuff," Robin cried.

"Well, you can count me out, where the Doctor goes I go," Rose jogged off through the gates and Robin turned his head to the sky, throwing his hands in the air exasperated.

"Does no one listen to me anymore?!"

"Seems not, me and John will stay here," Djaq decided, "Much, Will?"

"I'll go in," Much announced, puffing out his chest whilst Will nodded silently and walked towards the gates, head down and axes carefully concealed beneath his billowing brown cloak. The man servant hurried after him quickly.

"Ok, I'll go with him, we have no idea how much trouble this Doctor can get into," the leader of the outlaws stated just as an almighty cry rose in the courtyard of the castle, "And it seems he's already started without me, don't wanna miss the fun!" Robin grinned one of his trade mark cheeky grins and swiftly sprinted into the castle grounds with no fuss as the guards had deserted their posts to find out what was going on inside.

* * *

"Look, ok big fella, I'm sorry!" the Doctor raised his hands in the air as a huge man, even bigger than John, advanced on him menacingly, "Of course you're not fat and stupid; you're just big boned and intellectually challenged."

"Inter-what, you trying to be smart with me little man," the giant bellowed.

"No!" the Doctor yelped as the man drew a club frown his belt, "Can't we just talk about this…didn't catch your name, sorry?"

"Caine, now I'm gonna knock your block off."

"Right, I think this might be my queue to leave, first though, returning to my initial question…" the Doctor wanted to move on quickly as he was aware of the audience he had attracted in the form of the whole market place along with several guards, outlaws and Rose who was standing nearby, arms crossed and eyebrows raised, "Um…which direction is the Sheriff's quarters?"

"Grmph!" Caine charged at the skinny Time Lord swinging wildly but still lethally with his club.

"Ok, cheerio, nice meeting you, thanks for your time, Caine!" the Doctor grinned and scarpered.

* * *

Rose sighed. The Doctor could be such a prick at times. Suddenly she felt someone grab her arm and she gasped, spinning round. Luckily it was only Robin though, a small smirk twitching at his lips. He jerked his head in the direction the Doctor had gone in which Rose realised was a silent command for his outlaws, that were scattered round the courtyard, to move on. Then he looked at her, his bright blue eyes sparkling with excitement and more worryingly mischief.

The outlaw pulled her with him through the crowds and into the more quiet area of the castle steps where the other outlaws had already taken out the guards.

"Hey, I see you like stirring trouble," Robin said, "There could be hope for us to get along yet."

"He started it!" the Doctor pouted, running a long fingered hand through his hap hazard hair, "I asked him for directions to the Sheriff's quarters very politely and then he just jumped at me!"

"Yeah right," Rose sniggered, "I can just tell that this trip is far from over in the way of unneeded danger and provoked problems."

"I never provoke people! I just give them a little nudge over the edge," the Time Lord spoke indignantly and Rose rolled her eyes.

"Hey, um, guys, we're kind of standing in the middle of the castle grounds having a bicker and in the mean time some more guards are bound to come and see what's wrong. You're acting like bloody old women," Allan piped up, eyeing the area warily.

"Oh, yeah, oops," the Doctor scratched his ear before running off in a random direction. Robin was immediately on his tail, drawing a sword whilst the Doctor had his sonic screwdriver. Will and Allan followed but Rose and Much lagged behind.

"Is it just me or are they really, really alike?" Rose asked her companion.

"I know what you mean, they're both arrogant, over confident, trouble makers that find danger following them at every corner and they try to help people but make a complete hash of it only to resolve it in the last few seconds before everyone dies," Much murmured. Rose looked startled at him.

"Couldn't have put it better than myself," the woman laughed.

"Hey, you two, we're trying to do some breaking and entering, its no time to swap stories," the Robin shouted.

"Yeah," the Doctor backed him with an identical frustrated expression, "Have your mother's meeting at a later date, alright?"

"Huh?" Rose and Much scowled in unison.

"Do you ever get the feeling that you're holding them back and really annoying them?" Much asked.

"Yeah, all the time, but then, a bit later you realise that you are actually the glue holding them together," Rose agreed. Much nodded but then frowned.

"What's glue?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Oi, move it!" the time travelling alien ordered as they crept into the castle corridors surprisingly unchallenged by the Sheriff's men.

"Ok, ok, keep your knickers on."

* * *

The Sheriff was twiddling his thumbs as he waited for something interesting to arise from Gisborne's raid of the blue box or more information on the Doctor and his companion to be discovered. He had put the phone down for a few minutes but was already itching to pick the gadget up again. It was just so addictive.

"I won't pick it up," he muttered to himself, "I won't pick it up. I won't pick it…oh, I don't care!"

The Sheriff snatched up the silver object and flipped it open revelling in the gloriously refreshing tune that signalled it starting. Then he flicked through some more buttons, heading straight for the lovely snakey game but he seemed to press the wrong option as he suddenly arrived on a view of the room before him.

"What?" he gasped, closing one eyes and peering more closely at the screen. He moved the phone, looked at the table before him and then placed the phone back and saw the same thing but through the screen. Was it a window? Or a hole? He turned the object over in his hand but there was no hole on the other side, just a tiny shiny circle. Strange.

As he shifted the phone in his hand, one of his fingers caught a switch on the edge of the phone and there was a sudden, abrupt flash that momentarily blinded him.

"Ahh!" he squealed but stopped immediately when he looked at the phone. The image of his table was frozen on the screen. He had captured it on the phone! How absolutely amazing! Not only could he trap people in the phone but also pictures!

The Sheriff smiled evilly to himself before experimenting further with the machine. Soon he had several captured scenes: his foot, a flag stone and his face. It was much more accurate than a painting and didn't take anything like the same amount of time sitting on a blasted chair. Fantastic.

Just then someone knocked on his door and he grinned. It must be Gisborne back from Locksley.

"Come in you snivelling weasel!" The door opened and he lifted the phone, aiming it the door just as six figures tumbled in, "FREEZE!" The Sheriff yelled and was just as surprised as the intruders as the flash went off and the faces of the outlaws were captured on record forever.

"What are you doing here Hood?!" the Sheriff found his voice and he was not happy.

**Lol, did you like the Sheriff's discovery of a camera? Please review!**


	7. Blondie

**Taken ages to update! Sorry! Holidays and everything. Hope you like the chappie. Its slightly darker than usual. Implied rape.**

"Argh, I'm blind! I'm blind!" Much yelped and clawed at his eyes after the flash.

"That's my phone!" Rose shrieked over the man servant's cries, "You little thief!"

"Little, who you calling little?! I may be slightly short for a man but there's no need to insult me…blondie," the Sheriff retorted, huffily.

"Hello, Vaisey," Robin grinned cheekily.

"Doctor," the Sheriff hissed.

"No, my name's Robin," Robin frowned but the Sheriff was not addressing him. He had no interest in the annoying outlaw. He wanted to know more about the Doctor.

"Yep, hello, that's me, what can I do you for? Oh, by the way, I was just wondering about all those wanted posters. I mean, what on earth do you want me for? And the description wasn't very accurate. How many people around here have brown hair and brown eyes? I know I'm much cleaner than most of them but you didn't even mention that! Plus, how come I am described as skinny! I am not skinny, I'm just slightly on the slim side, I do have fat look." the Doctor finished his ramble and plucked at his stomach. He couldn't pinch it, "Ok, I suppose I don't." The Time Lord looked bewildered at his flat belly as if he'd only just noticed it. Rose suppressed a giggle.

"You talk too much," the Sheriff scowled.

"How many times have I heard that?"

"I want you to work for me and make more of these gadgets," Vaisey declared, holding up the mobile phone.

"What is _that_?!" Allan shouted, looking alarmed as it beeped.

"Ha, bet you don't have any weapons like this. Your bows and swords are nothing now. I can capture people and put people in here though I haven't quite worked out how to do that yet. Which is another thing I order you to do by the way," the Sheriff directed this last point at the Doctor.

"Oh, there are millions of them where we come from but I haven't a clue how to make them so…sorry," the Doctor shrugged and grinned his trade mark grin.

"That is a mobile phone, actually, not a weapon. It's so we can communicate with each other," Rose butted in, wanting to get things straight.

"Who said you could speak, girl? Women should be seen but never speak except that annoying wench of yours Hood. She's got a mouth on her."

"How dare you speak of Marian like that?!" Robin yelled angrily.

"So what? What are you going to do?" the Sheriff retorted.

"Hey, hey, I don't much care about your little feud. I want to have an argument with this smarmy git. Women are just as good as men if not better. In the 20th century women will fight for their right to have the vote and have the same jobs as men. In the war they prove their worth though they did not fight but they kept the country going. Now, wait, then women can be whatever the hell they want," Rose stated, her eyes blazing, "Women can even be in the army as soldiers in the 21st century."

"What?!" she received several exclamations of surprise.

"Women? Fight? That's wrong. Men are there to protect women," Allan yelped.

"No, women can look after themselves thank you very much," the blonde girl replied, obviously irritated.

"Ah but sometimes you do need my help to rescue you," the Doctor pointed but immediately quailed at the look he got shot.

"Marian can fight for herself, I think its good," Robin nodded, mulling things over in his head.

"Um excuse me if I'm being slower than you fools for once but how can she know what's going to happen in the future?"

"Because…" Much started but was halted abruptly by the Doctor's hand over his mouth and the last part of the sentence came out as "deyr brum ba yutyre."

"Huh?" the Sheriff frowned then shrugged, "I don't much care anyway. _You _will be my scientist." He looked at the Doctor. "And _you _shall be my woman. I like your feisty attitude." He pointed at Rose.

"Ha, yeah right," Rose snorted at the thought of her agreeing to be with the Sheriff, "There is no way I will be 'your woman'."

"I don't think you have much choice," came a smug voice from behind her. Every outlaw whipped round to find Gisborne and his men standing there, Will in their grip, knife at throat.

"How did he get past Djaq and John?" Robin muttered to himself.

"Ah, Gisborne, about time you showed up, I didn't know how long I could keep them talking."

"Sorry, sir," Gisborne sighed glumly, "Drop your weapons." The outlaws complied only because the man could kill one of their own. Will was trying desperately not to move in his attackers grip so the knife wouldn't accidentally sink into his skin. It was already digging in slightly.

"Ok, take this scum to the dungeons but take the girl to my room. You can have a turn after me if you want," the Sheriff added as an after thought, "Now chop, chop!"

The Doctor's eyes widened at the implications of what the Sheriff of Nottingham had insinuated. He struggled against his bonds.

"No, you can't do this! Leave Rose alone!" he screamed but was stopped by a sharp, skull cracking blow to his head and the lights went out.

Robin also began to kick up a fight. He may not have known Rose all that long but she was a nice girl and he didn't want her to be violated by the dirty Sheriff especially as he could see how it was affecting the Doctor. The man's anguished cries still rang in his ears.

Rose remained silent throughout all this. What could she do anyway? The guards holding her were much stronger and bigger than her. She may be tough but she had no chance. Thinking about what might happen made her feel sick. She didn't want to be raped. A couple of her friends had been and the trauma and the change in their lives they went through afterwards were not good. Rose had always though 'it will never happen to me' because she stayed off the streets and didn't go in the dodgy areas of London. But now she could be about to be raped by a man from a legend in the 12th century. Oh god.

* * *

The Doctor came round on the stone floor of the dungeon, his head aching and his eyesight blurry. "Wh-what happened?"

"One of the guards smacked you from behind with a chair," Allan supplied looking sullen. Suddenly it all came back to the Time Lord. Meeting the Sheriff, being tricked into talking to much and losing Rose to that….monster! Rose!

"Where's Rose?!" he roared, jumping to his feet even though it made his head spin.

"We don't know, she hasn't come back yet," Allan answered.

"Oh Christ," the Time Lord whimpered and slithered to the floor, leaning against the wall. He didn't know when he picked up that bit of Earth language, "I told her mum I would protect her."

"There was nothing you could do, mate. We were outnumbered," Allan tried to comfort the despairing man.

No one else was talking. Much was curled up in the corner, his eyes wide and glassy. Will was to his left, standing, back against the brickwork, banging his head over and over in frustration, his eyes scrunched up and his fists clenched. The small red line was clear on the white skin of his neck, a tiny dribble of blood threatening to fall.

More surprisingly were Djaq and John who were supposed to have been guarding against this. The Doctor supposed it explained why they hadn't been warned. Djaq was sitting, legs crossed in the centre of the cell, her eyes closed, deep in thought whereas John was chained roughly to the wall, his face wild with fury as every so often he made a random grunting noise and pulled painfully at his manacles. He wasn't going anywhere fast.

It was at this point that the Doctor realised one of the number was missing. Not Rose but Robin.

"Where's Robin?" he asked, fearing the worst.

"The Sheriff took him away about an hour ago, we don't know where," Allan said.

"And have none of you tried to escape, I mean, you said you guys have been down here before so you must have got out then, right?" the Doctor was trying to be positive, hoping the state he found Rose in wasn't irreparable.

"Yeah, before though we were let out though to go to execution and escaped at the last minute or there was one of us outside who could come and save us. The only time we've escaped on our own is when Will fashioned that key but that was in a different room and they've probably changed the locks."

"Locks," the Doctor pondered a moment, "Oh, how could I be so stupid?!" He shouted, leaping to his feet with renewed energy, a huge smile on his face. The outlaws looked at him as if he'd gone crazy or grown two heads.

"What?" Much piped up at this point, looking like a hopeful puppy at the prospect of getting out.

"This!" the Doctor brandished the sonic screwdriver at the lock and it clicked open with ease, "Let's go guys!"

**Ta da! Was that worth waiting for? Please review**.


	8. Dilly Dally

**Whoop. Um...next chapter! I finally updated. I really need to get a schedule for this. I keep trying to rotate my stories and update the ones I havent in ages but sometimes I just get caught up in a story and leave the rest. Plus, I do have a life you know so I cant be on here all the time typing! Thats my excuse for not updating. I'm a bit worried as the chapters arent as funny as they were so I'm sorry. I'll try and improve next chapter! Review!**

Rose's mind whirred through the possibilities of escape. She could try knocking the Sheriff over the head but that was a bit of a no goer considering there were two guards standing by the door of the hall. Damn. Well, maybe she should try the method that had worked for the Doctor all these years. Talk.

"So, um, you gonna rape me?"

"Rape? Ha, no that was just a clever ruse to get all your little friends worked up. Worked well don't you think? You look terrified," the Sheriff replied.

"Oh," Rose visibly sagged with relief, "Then what are you actually gonna do to me?"

"Um….well I am going to give you a little show."

"A show? What like theatre?"

"Theatre? A clue: no," the Sheriff laughed, "More like a torture show."

As if on cue two guards entered the room clutching Robin between them. He was still sporting his cheeky grin and Rose wondered how he did it when things looked this bleak.

"Now, I've asked for some of my most special instruments to come up here and join the fun. You can sit here and watch whilst I do some unimaginable things to Mr Hoody here or you can tell me how to get in that damn blue box of yours," the Sheriff declared.

"The TARDIS. Ha, why do you think I would know? It belongs to the Doctor, why don't you ask him," Rose spat more bravely than she felt.

"Because you look the weaker of the two. You're a woman for starters, more sympathy and everything."

"Thanks, I may be a woman but I won't break."

"All the more fun for me then," the Sheriff clapped his hands together gleefully. "Bring on the torture!"

* * *

The Doctor sprinted down the corridor and skidded round the corner whilst all the outlaws ran behind him, panting as they tried to keep up. He halted a moment so they could catch him.

"You do this a lot then?" Allan puffed.

"All the time. Running is my life. And talking I s'pose."

"I thought we were fit but this is just ridiculous," Much gulped in some air gratefully before finding the Doctor had taken flight again, "Oh, Lord, he's off again! I'm surprised he doesn't just wear right through those shoes of his, they are hardly thick soled. I like them though; maybe I could ask him for a pair."

"Much, stop talking, wasting breath," Djaq gasped.

"I was just saying. Anyway, he's always talking," Much jerked a thumb at the Doctor who was muttering random phrases to himself.

"Shut up, Much, seriously," Will interjected and groaned as the Time Lord put on a spurt of speed and vanished round yet another corner.

Suddenly there was a yell upfront and a crash and two guards suddenly appeared on the floor in front of them. The Doctor then reappeared, dusting his hands off, a huge grin plastered across his face.

"Well, you lot coming or not?"

"Wha-what? How?" Much stumbled over the words.

"Did you just take out two heavily armed guards single handed and weapon less?" Allan asked, impressed.

"No, there were actually six, the other four are over here, now let's save Rose and Robin. No time to dilly dally," the Doctor grabbed Will's arm and dragged him after him so the others had no choice but to follow.

The group of outlaws led by the Doctor, for the second time that day bashed through the hall doors and took in the scene before them. There was no one there. Not a soul.

"Ok, where on earth are they?" Much frowned, worriedly.

* * *

Rose struggled meekly against her bound wrists but knew there was no point, they were tied too tightly. She sighed and looked anxiously over at Robin who was hanging limply between two guards; his face bruised and bloody from the torture he'd endured until Rose gave in and told the Sheriff she would show him how to get in the TARDIS.

Obviously she wouldn't actually allow them into the TARDIS no matter what, even if it meant losing her life. She couldn't betray the Doctor or the machine like that but she could buy some time of which she had very little to come up with an escape plan and stop Robin having the crap beaten out of him.

They had arrived in Locksley and Rose immediately spotted the tall, blue form of the TARDIS just where they'd left it. How long ago was that? She couldn't remember but it felt like ages. She felt comforted seeing the familiar outline and she knew things would be alright.

"Alright, now girl, open it!" the Sheriff ordered pushing her forward.

"Er…well I would if you untied my hands," Rose replied.

"Oh, right, if I must," the Sheriff sighed and clicked his fingers causing one of the guards to jump forward as if bitten on the bum and swiftly cut Rose's ropes. Rose then fiddled in her pockets pretending to take ages searching for the key to the TARDIS when actually it was knotted securely round her neck on a chain.

_Now's the time to think of a plan. Any plan. Just a plan. Come on. Think! _Rose begged herself. But nothing came. No master plan or anything. She just wasn't the Doctor who could come up with an idea in a couple of seconds.

"Come along, girl, or I may just order my guard to give your friend a little wake up poke with his sword considering he is drooping rather."

At this Rose looked at Robin again and saw indeed that his head had dropped and his limbs were limp. But then his head lifted slightly and he winked at her through his less black eyelid. A small smile twitched at the corner of his lips. He wriggled his wrists slightly and Rose saw the rope was actually very lose and he was completely alert ready for action. No one else noticed and the woman immediately formulated a plan.

"Hurry up, for crying out loud!" the Sheriff snapped and grabbed Rose's arm viciously, impatient to get in the mysterious blue box. Rose hissed in pain and at just that moment Robin leapt forward, smacking his guards over the head so they fell to the ground out cold. Then he turned to the Sheriff and pushed him away from Rose.

"Guards, seize that damn outlaw!" Vaisey cried. All the guards surged towards the couple but Rose gripped the chain around her neck and tugged it off before sliding the key smoothly into the lock and pushing the door open. She then dragged the surprised outlaw in after her and slammed the TARDIS door closed. Finally she was safe.

"Holy shit."

**Hehe, I know Robin probably wouldnt swear like that but still, I thought it was more effective! Pleease review!**


	9. Levers, Buttons and Things

**Yay, next chapter. Ok, this isnt as funny as the last few so sorry. Robin Hood was awesome last night though Will was so freaky! His eyes...eek!**

Rose sighed, exasperated at Robin's reaction to the TARDIS. Why do people do it? Stand there with their mouths hanging open and their eyes the size of saucers? They needed to get on and save the others.

It was then she remembered Robin was not actually from her time and hadn't even heard of electricity or a mobile phone until they appeared. This must be quite a shock, like her future was to become a rabbit made of chocolate. Now that would be weird…like a giant Lindt bunny.

"Well, welcome to your future," Rose flung her arms wide in an uncanny resemblance to the Time Lord who owned the ship.

"My future?" Robin murmured, stepping forward but jumping about five foot in the air when something hissed and bleeped below the grating under his boots. Once he regained his composure he walked cautiously over to the control panel and ran his calloused, battered hands over the shiny metal. He was entranced by the flashing lights and the column above his head that moved slowly and rhythmically.

"Well, sorta, I supposed in my time we aren't as advanced as this, doubt we ever will be but this is the jist," Rose babbled.

"It's amazing," the outlaw whispered, stroking an eerie glowing blue orb that was embedded in the panel.

"Yeah, but you mustn't forget…you're amazing to me. Everything about your culture is foreign and exotic. I may have learnt about some medieval stuff in history textbooks but its nothing compared to the real thing. Not even close. I mean….geez…if some historians were seeing what I am now…" Rose let out a low whistle, "they'd be outta a job for coming up with a loada crap."

"Yes, but we are the past, this-this is the future," Robin replied and looked up at Rose from his tinkering, "Is this what we fought for in the Holy Lands? Does King Richard win and return home?"

"I can't tell you, Robin, but lets just say you'll be fine, get your girl and live happily ever after in a safe England," Rose grinned then added, "Just don't go to any Abbeys, especially Kirklees."

"I know the Abbess there," Robin declared.

"Just stay away from her, ok? Now back to the business of rescuing the others. Any ideas?"

"Well…" Robin leant back on the console and placed his hands on it. As he did his elbow caught a lever and knocked it into the 'on' position. The room lurched violently and both people were hurled to the metal floor. "What on earth?"

"Robin! What the hell did you do?" Rose screeched, leaping to her feet and looking wildly at the flashing lights, "Oh, god! Why did the Doctor never teach me how to steer this thing?!"

"I dunno, I'm sorry, but why is the world shaking?" Robin asked, gripping onto one of the rails on the TARDIS.

"We're travelling through the Time Vortex!"

"The time-what?" Robin shouted over the immense noise of the time-ship alarms wailing.

"Shit! The Doctor is gonna kill me!" Rose yelped as the TARDIS gave a final bone rattling jerk and they were thrown to the floor.

"Will you stop doing that?" Rose yelled at the machine angrily, "It's not helping matters." She rubbed her painful arm where she'd bashed it and glared.

"Ok, why are you shouting at the machine?" the outlaw asked, clearly puzzled.

"Because…oh, it doesn't matter, you wouldn't understand. Let's see where we've ended up the." Rose flung open the door and looked out. "Well, that's just great!" The woman groaned.

* * *

The Sheriff's men hammered against the blue box's door but to no effect even when they went at it with an axe.

"What is this made of? It cannot be just wood!" one guard cried incredulously.

Suddenly there was a deafening grinding and grating noise that erupted from the box and everyone sprung backwards, terrified. The point on the top of the box began flashing bright blue.

"It's disappearing! Fading away! Into the air!" one soldier observed first.

"Don't be stupid, it can't just dissolve!" another guard let out a bark of a laugh but stopped abruptly as several more spectators gasped and they saw the machine was indeed vanishing before their eyes.

"That's impossible!" the Sheriff bellowed furiously, "How does Hood do this?! This cannot be happening! I want my blue box!" Vaisey stamped his foot sulkily like a petulant child. "This isn't fair!"

"But, my Lord, look on the bright side. Locksley is gone and we still have the Doctor in the dungeons. This has worked out quite well."

"Gisborne!" the Sheriff whipped around, "What are you doing here?"

"Well, after we couldn't get in the box I went searching for better tools from another village with my men but it seems there was no point as you have…um…lost it."

"Yes! Well observed, Gisborne!" the Sheriff snapped, regaining his composure, "We go back to Nottingham. I need my phone."

* * *

"Hi ya!" the Doctor sent a flying kick at one of the guards and knocked him over, "Ow! That hurt." The Time Lord then clutched his foot in agony.

"Well, yeah, if you kick metal it is gonna be a bit painful," Allan supplied, helpfully.

"Whatever," the Doctor replied loftily before sweeping down the corridor after Will and Little John who had hurried off to check the next passage was clear. It was.

The escapees sprinted down the deserted corridors checking each one for guards but finding no one. But as they turned into the final passageway they bumped into someone very unexpected.

"Marian!" Much yelped, "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question. And where's Robin?" Marian frowned looking at the group.

"Um….we don't know, we were trying to rescue him and Rose…"

"Rose? Who's Rose?"

"My friend. Now, not meaning to be rude Lady Marian but we really have to get moving," a tall, thin man she didn't recognise stepped forward.

"And who are you?"

"I am the Doctor," the Doctor grinned.

"Doctor of what?" Marian asked.

"Everything. Now, gotta go. Ta ta!" the man loped off down the corridor.

"Well, he was interesting."

"He's an alyane," Much said.

"No Much, an alien," Djac laughed.

"What?" Marian looked bewildered.

"No time to explain! People to save!" Allan yelled as the gang charged off down the corridor, "You should just know he's an alien, he's from the future and he talks a lot."

"And runs fast!" Will added before vanishing.

* * *

As the group made it to the castle gate they were met by Gisborne and the Sheriff who froze in astonishment. Not quite registering that their captives were making a break for freedom.

"Hi! Bye!" the Doctor shouted as he shot passed followed by the others. Allan was at the end and as he flew passed the Sheriff his hand popped out and grabbed something.

"No! Gisborne! They can't escape!" the Sheriff wailed and then looked down at his hands, "NOOO!" He let out an even louder distraught cry, "They have my phone!"

**:) what do you think? Review! Personally my favorite bit is the exchange between Allan, Will and Marian :)**


	10. Meeting the Mother

**Hey, sorry, havent updated in ages. Please stick with this story! I hope you'll enjoy!**

"It's a monster!"

"It's a bus."

"I knew that. What's a bus?" Robin's forehead creased in a comical, confused frown and Rose grinned, shaking her head.

"A bus is a big…cart that holds lots of people and goes fast….Robin! And if you step into the road like that it'll squash you like a fly!" Rose blew a sigh of exasperation as she realised Robin knew nothing of road safety considering he'd just stepped off the pavement.

"So…the big red ones are buses and the little carts are cars but neither is pulled by horses. How do they move then?"

"Crikey, that's a question I'd be in no position to answer even if I hadn't bunked off science. They just do, you put fuel in it called petrol and therefore it moves, ok?"

"Ok, why are all the women wearing men's clothing?"

"They're not, that's just how we dress in my time, didn't you see me when we arrived?"

"I did, I just thought you were odd, I didn't realise everyone wore such scant clothes."

"Gee, thanks," Rose said, sarcastically and grabbed the outlaw's arm and pulled him towards a crossing.

"When the man goes green we go, got it?" Rose stated.

"Why is green? I'm certainly not green so why should he be? Does he have a disease?"

"Cripes. I never thought I'd be in the 21st century explaining a road crossing to Robin-bleedin'-Hood! Doctor, where are you when I need you? Oh yeah, stuck in 1192 with a balding madman, a moody sidekick and a group of reckless, injustice fighting rebels!"

"What was that infant travelling in? It looked like a miniature cart, like the ones fruit is carried in." Robin asked, observing everything around him and completely oblivious to Rose's rant.

"Huh? Oh, it was a pram," Rose cried, frustrated, "Come one, we're going to my mum's so we can change your gear. You're attracting stares with your old fashioned dress sense and that stench."

"I'll have you know I washed yesterday…" Robin retorted indignantly, "Or was it the day before? Anyway, if you are uncomfortable with the attention I could have got rid of them had you not made me leave my weapons in the….TARDY-or whatever"

"TARDIS. Do you want to get arrested?!"

* * *

"Where are they?"

"Don't ask me," Allan shrugged and continued to amuse himself with the stolen mobile phone as the Doctor paced, scratching his head.

The group was safely in the outskirts of Sherwood Forest, hidden from the road in and out of Nottingham but still able to keep watch. They had not seen anyone coming nor going from the castle.

The Time Lord was getting frustrated and even more worried about the fact they had no idea where Rose or Robin was and whether they were in danger. He could just remember the Sheriff's crude words before the outlaws and him were dragged to the dungeons. They rang callously through his head, ricocheting through all his other thoughts and tormenting him. He could not let _that _happen to Rose. If it did he would never ever forgive himself.

"Hey, I'm not being funny but this thing is we-h-eird," Allan commented, pressing another button on the key pad. "Yikes!" He gasped as the phone began vibrating violently in his fingers and he dropped it abruptly, as if burned.

The Doctor bent down and scooped up the mobile that was trilling a jingly tune. He glanced at the small screen and noticed that Allan had somehow managed to reach the ring tune menu. At the moment, the tone selected was called 'Happy Jingle' kind of ironic considering how he was feeling right now. But it did remind him, however, that this was not how he usually acted in a bad situation, no matter what the problem was and had Rose been present she would've told him so, probably with a sharp jab between the shoulder blades to emphasize the point.

With that thought in mind the Time Lord managed to reinstate the dazzling, slightly crazed grin on his face and leapt forward enthusiastically.

"Well, guys, I'm sorry to say that although we just escaped from that place we're gonna have to go back in."

"What? Why?!" He was greeted by several incredulous, shocked expressions.

"You can't be serious," Allan shook his head, looking perplexed.

"Oh, you can never tell when I'm being serious so you just have to go with the flow," the alien smiled cheesily, "But, just look at it this way. Now we've done it once we know we can do it again and they won't be expecting it."

"I'll say," Allan muttered as the Doctor sprang off, heading straight back towards the castle, "Who in their right mind, having just escaped near tragedy, would bound straight back, headlong, into danger when the only outcome spells disaster with a capital D?"

"A man in love," came Will's soft, barely audible reply.

* * *

Robin twitched nervously as he and Rose stood outside a strange building that was taller than anything he had ever seen. He was sure that if he went to the very top and reach out he would be able to scrape the sky. When he had told Rose this however, she'd laughed and replied that was probably why they were called 'sky-scrapers' though this one was actually just a block of flats, no where near as big as ones in New York wherever that was. The outlaw found the concept of flats quite confusing considering they were far from flat.

Rose had just knocked on a door that was peeling slightly and looked like it was so flimsy it could be knocked down with just a single swing of an axe. It was paper thin compared to the heavy duty, huge doors they had back in his time. And in Robin's opinion his doors were much better.

Apparently, Rose's mum lived here, on her own, which Robin found a bit odd. Usually women never lived on their own if they could help it. They would reside with a husband, or a father or a brother, even a sister in some cases so they would have companionship and protection and someone to earn money. Another thing he also found strange was the fact Rose had said her father had died when she was little and her mum had never remarried. Robin was sure, if Rose's own looks were anything to go by, her mother should have plenty of suitors.

However, when the door finally swung open, after several hard raps on Rose's behalf, it did not reveal at all what he expected. Standing in the doorway was a partially disheveled looking woman, who was dressed in some kind of bright pink furry robe that Robin didn't think any animal could've produced, her hair hanging in wet clumps around her shoulders and nothing on her feet. The outlaw could even see a considerable amount of the middle aged woman's legs beneath the robe and he looked away, blushing furiously. It was not like him to get this flustered but then again he didn't usually see ladies dressed like that.

"Rose!" was the first word out of the woman's mouth in a strangled yell of excitement and almost immediately the young, blonde by his side was pulled into a bone crushing hug, "Oh, Rose, I've been so worried about you! You've been gone for two months."

"Sorry, Mum, I meant to visit but well, you know, difficult to keep track of time in the TARDIS."

"Well, you would've thought that _he_ would've been more considerate of a poor worrying mother….hey, wait, who on earth is this young man?" Rose's mother trailed off finally noticing the nervous looking man standing beside her daughter, "Oh, it isn't the Doctor is it? He hasn't done that regeneration-thingimajig has he?" The lady peered scrutinizing Robin's features to see if she could see the cheeky expression of the Doctor anywhere in his features.

"No, Mum, this is um…" Rose began, wondering how to explain who the outlaw was without freaking her mum out. There was no easy way to say it so she might as well just tell her. "This is Robin Hood. Robin, meet my mum, Jackie."

"Robin-ruddy-Hood. I should've known. I had a call from your Sheriff guy and he was none too polite," Jackie stated to an astonished looking Rose and Robin, "Mind you, I wasn't that nice either, he interrupted Cori and I was in a bit of a mood. Wait, a moment, doesn't that mean that if Robin Hood is in the 21st century that's completely mucked up time?"

"Er…" Rose gaped, dumbstruck.

**Um...look forward to some Rose/Jackie/Robin fluff next chapter! Review! Review! Review!**


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